my hot and cold

the new shanghai nights

2011-05-14T03:37:00.002+08:00

Cold

2011-03-14T19:44:00.002+08:00

I feel like I'm at the lowest point of my life.

Possibly and very likely.

I need to get through this phase of life as soon as possible.

Dwelling won't help.

Getting back to where I was won't help either.

I need to make decisions.

Stand firm and be rooted to my choices.

Understand the consequences of reliance.

Stop finding excuses for myself.

No one too significant. No one too important.

It's time to choose.

Time to find joy from within.

Time to love all and not one.

Time to forgive and forget.

Time for a new reason.

Time to focus.

Time to read.

Time to be.

Time to ...

No one is keen in your story.

They don't care less if you drop a teeth.

If you had a bad tummy, a bad day.

Only if your bad makes them bad. Like your stinky bad breathe.

Yes, no one really cares.

So die if you want, cos theirs will just go on.

With or without you.

Nothing is less exciting without you.

Are you surprised?

Cos I was too.

Life was like the biggest thing.

Until you meet the rest of the world.

No, you're nothing.

Don't bother telling anyone your worries, your sadness, your joy.

Nothing good comes out.

Nothing comforting.

It's not worth the time. You're just being too weak.

There's no need for accountability.

No need for you.

No need to tell me.

Everything is free.

I can just go missing.

As long as you are free.

I can just go missing.

What has become of me?

The top 5 things that will ANNOY ME

2010-07-31T13:37:00.003+08:00

Look, it's not easy to be nice and friendly all the time.

I try to be. You know they call it - being politically correct.

Seriously, whatever.

I am a sensitive person. I would think about how you would feel before I make any comments or statements. I know how it feels to receive nasty comments, I know how blatant remarks can ruin your week. Thus I hold them back.

That doesn't mean I am OKAY with it.

I have decided. I need to have an edge over situations like that.

I will be a bitch to those who seeks one.

Like the bible says... "Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find"

If I bite you, you must have asked for it.

Now, I shall share the TOP 5 things that annoys me inside out:

1. LACK OF PLANS

I need and want to know what's next. What's your plan? What's your thought? What you have in mind? I HATE working in environment where no one knows what's going on and the person in charge is still confused. If thats the case, let me do your job. I cannot live a day without knowing what's going to happen the following evening.

2. BETRAYAL OF MY TRUST

I will trust you until you choose to give it away to your own selfish means.

i. GOING BACK ON YOUR WORDS

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be a man/woman of your words. Don't be a coward.

ii. DON'T DO WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE AND COMPLAIN LATER

If you don't want to, just say it. We can work things out. Don't help/do/commit and regret later. You end up being a jerk.

3. HANGING UP ON MY CALL

If you can hang up on my call, you simply don't respect our friendship.

4. INSINCERITY

If you don't mean it, don't do it. It doesn't make a difference to me.

5. SELFISHNESS

If you are too concerned about yourself, your money, your everything. Forget it.

I won't mind sharing anything with you. It will disgust me when anyone close to me get particular and anal over small amount of money etc. If I bought you something, take it. Throw away later when I don't see. Don't insist on paying. And don't get nasty with me over $2.50. I will seriously throw the money on your face and tell you how lousy a person you are. It is unless you are poor, or having no cash at the moment. If you are just being selfish and wants to draw lines with me. I will use a marker to cross you out.

You don't need me, you need yourself.

Look, I don't care what rank you hold. I don't care how smart you think you may be.

I don't care how you wear, what you look like.

I love my friends. And I appreciate them for the things and time they spend with me.

I don't like the feeling of being unsettled, I like to know where I am heading.

I don't exactly need an answer/solution. I just need to know if there is a formula.

If you don't have it, tell me, I will come up with a formula myself. Don't just keep mum and pretend you are smart. And don't accuse me of initiating it when I try. At least I tried and you didn't.

I once cared too much, I made myself a fool.

If you are an ass, go find yourself a toilet bowl. Shit you very much.

I hate the 5 things I mentioned above. I don't just say it for the sake of doing so, I make sure that I don't do it to you as well.

Shanghai Nights

2010-06-05T13:24:00.005+08:00

Heng Shan Road 525, The Art Gallery Suite

That's where I stayed. An atas district with a heavy scent of French loaves and accent.

The trees were bald. The wind was blowing hard.

15 degrees. It was like France, really.

@ the subway: Apart from the occasional rudeness and barbaric behavior from the fellow Shanghainese, it looks like Japan actually. Maybe, dirtier (cos they eat on the train) and noisy (cos they speak out loud inconsiderately) and packer (they just squeeze you freshly). That's the difference between China and Japan maybe. It was a little of a culture shock cos I was pulled aside, literally PULLED aside to make way for an alighting passenger.

First time in winter wear. I know right. Cam whore. but yes, I love the feeling of having a scarf over my neck. It's an odd feeling cos you are Hot and Cold at the same time. The word is; warm. Nice.

Shopping never been more fun. It's cheap, that's why.

I flew China Eastern Airlines.

Not the best but it was a good flight.

whenever I blog, I am usually emo

2010-02-18T17:05:00.002+08:00

gosh. its been forever since I last updated.

I have been busy lately. Will be right back, I promise.

lady gaga Bad Romance

2009-11-13T10:28:00.000+08:00

the release [press screening] part ONE

2009-11-02T20:14:00.002+08:00

PRESS Q N A Session

Liyun and Nick Discussing

ME talking...nonstop...

PRESS interviewing me after the event

US :)

GALA PREMIERE of THE RELEASE

2009-10-10T10:04:00.001+08:00

yess... this is the day i've been waiting for!

feeling the right way

2009-09-23T22:24:00.002+08:00

:/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/

urgh.

something to look out for...

2009-08-15T10:26:00.000+08:00

Yes and that is.. Alice in the wonderland the movie. Which will casts all time favourites like JOHNNY DEPP & ANNE HATHEWAY. Do you not have enough reasons to catch this next March? :P

series of unfortunate events

2009-08-10T21:49:00.001+08:00

1. my laptop like died on me. it sucks seriously.

I really can't afford another one. so now my new 21st birthday resolution is to get a new laptop/desktop. :P (*fat hopes i know)
I am now using half of my laptop screen to type this entry. so its really squeezy.

2. my parents. sigh. do i really have to say more?

Anyway, this sentence came up to me again:
Never explain yrself to anyone, because the person who likes u doesnt need it and the person who dislike u wont believe it.

How true huh?

Meanwhile, I am still figuring how to complete the editing of my film without money.
Someone please advice me!!

the broken languages

2009-07-28T12:28:00.003+08:00

i lost something.

do i continue to look for it? or shld i move on?

the search

what did i find in closet?

emptiness

my room?

hollowness

my fridge?

numbness

my bed?

restlessness

my heart?

lonliness

the poem

i heard you said you were stuck

i said no, don't just give up

i heard you said life just sucks

i said no, i'll make things up

i thought you said love is enough

you said no, when times are tough

i thought i said i'll make you smile

you said no, but i'd still go that mile

Poker Face [Acoustic]

2009-06-13T10:52:00.001+08:00

Two THUMBS UP!
Po-po-po-poker face :D

betty no more

2009-06-08T16:59:00.011+08:00

HARLOWs www!

It's been a really long since i last blogged at all.

A new journey seems to have begun unannounced but its still the same me(random and darkly humored). Most things have gone better (some peeps would know what happened) and my mood is getting brighter too!

As always Mr. Philosophical me have been thinking a lot lately and I've been wondering what is my GREAT-est fear. There's a saying that goes like something - overcome your biggest fear and you'll live like there's no tomorrow.

What do you fear most?
Screeching sounds? Your mother? Heights? Backstabbers? Kar-chua?

Here's my top 5 fear lists for now (in no particular order)
- becoming a fatso again (yes, the insecurity i've yet overcomed)
- parting (any form of negative partition, i don't just hate it, i fear it)
- tied down (i enjoy freedom, thus random)
- bad skin condition (it makes me feel really uneasy)
- of getting a panic attack
it sucks to be in any kind of the above mentioned situation and i don't just fear them, i detest! But I do know that man's greatest fear is the fear of the UNKNOWN. And fear can just change everything, one's decision, one's thoughts, one's perspective. Reminds me of the movie THE MIST by STEPHEN KING. (i watched it at PS!)

SIGHS. 2 things!
No. 1 I begin to feel that my tummy is coming back again, which means - its time to watch my diet!

No.2 BOO... :( I miss my ugly betty, amanda and friends. It has gone for a season break and will only be back in Sept this year. The finale ended on a high note and left me hanging on the cliff and questioning. I can't wait to find out what would happen next! :P Someone please download for me once it's OUT k! hee hee.

YAYNESS. 3 things!
1. a lot of nice movies in JULY!
2. finally got a bit of money to SAVE for something in OCT!
3. i m planning to go for a nice tan soon! wanna look sunny and no more GLOOMY!

the art of the 2nd mind

2009-04-18T10:49:00.004+08:00

theART.2ndmind

a living mind; limitless thoughts, endless conclusions.

what is our decision? what defines the final destination?

the fear of life is the constant denial of the truth in life

the undecided voices haunt the single-souled

the unrequited love rides on tough unspoken relations

to bridge the quest of life and of all it's reasons

we say - what's at the back of your mind?

i say - what's at the front of it?

wholesome truths are double-edged swords

no one wins knowing

no one loses unknowing

what is truth anyway?

is that what we believe? or is that life in it's reality.

we choose. we decide for what is good and real.

now that is truth; our mind. everything else is a deception.

what runs through our minds are assumptions.

we assume an apple is an apple. for all you know, it could be a pear.

we redefine and compartmentalise

we call it an apple and that's what we decide

we give every thing we see, we hear and we taste a purpose

a purpose to serve and convince our untrusting minds

Everything must have it's reason

Else us humans would cease with the seasons

i can't waste my time no more

2009-04-17T19:11:00.003+08:00

Time, is running out.
It sprints.
It leaps.
It spins.
It leaves for a place and never leave a trace.

Love, is getting out.
It squeezes.
It siezes.
It pleads.
It leads-on on another and drift away.

Trust, is shouting out.
It cries.
It lies.
It's mine.
It's mind leaves for a place and never leave a trace, leads-on on another and would eventually drift away.

WELCOME BACK!

2009-04-13T22:53:00.002+08:00

After a long 1 month blog break, I'm back!
Back, Bigger, Better and Crazier?

First and foremost, I have a good news to announce:
I weigh 58kg now! *applause*
I kinda work hard for it. Believe me, you won't want to know my diet plans.

And here are my new adventures (those worth mentioning will be mentioned):
- my first IKEA meatball on 110409
- Gran Torino is good; caught it at Illuma's new Cinema Film Garde.
- I love the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic (I have the poster, movie and book!)
- Unofficially PES E status
- Is taking CLA as my leading supplement
- Apple Cider Vinegar (thanks to Rose!)
- New Film Screening on 9th May 2009
- Went on a magazine interview and published!
- Samantha Who and Ugly Betty Rocks!
- Lots of Indian Food but their Rojak
- Work? Shh...
- Money Problems!
- Mum has brain tumor :/
- I enjoy working out @ gym. (4x/week)
- I love songs like Poker Face, Hot and Cold and The Show.
- I am gg to watch OTOT 9th July.
- Oh. I caught 2 other theatre already - Defending Cavemen and Dark Knuts.
- Knowing; the movie is not that bad either.
- Global Sounds' customer service improved!
- I began reading Quiet Time
- I need to meet Jean and Rose for new movie One Love Two Many

Anyone for coffee soon? I miss everyone too.

i lost weight again... 65 - 59kg in a month

2009-02-11T13:56:00.005+08:00

YAYNESS! It's a good thing. I've been wanting to lose all my fats since young.
The last time i measured (just 10mins before I did this entry), I weigh 59.9kg.
Now just fyi, I was 65kg in Jan 2009. I hereby announce to the WORLD:

TIMOTHY HAS LITTLE/NO TUMMY AND HIS WEIGHT IS NOW ACCEPTABLE!

So how the hell I lost weight?

- Drink Green Tea religiously and that's like EVERY DAY
- I run 3-7km 4 times weekly
- I train my triceps/biceps 4 times weekly
- I climb/run 60 storey of stairs 4 times weekly
- Minimal fried food
- Nuts, Banana, Kiwi, Carrot Juice and Yoghurt are my best snacks
- U must hate ur fats which will cause you to be really determined!

Here are the photographs taken last weekend with Sharon, SY and Zac @ Far East after Benjamin Buttoning.

all of us!

zac and timmy makes a porno (sounds familiar? the movie Zack and Miri makes a Porno)

showing my affection to my gf, Sharon!

yes, I am cam whoring
shop assistant: "Hello! no photo taking in the shop ah!"
Sharon to the assistant: "erm, don't worry. he's not taking ur stuff but himself in the mirror"

RIGHT.

the story of our ex-es

2009-02-06T23:51:00.005+08:00

indeed, those were sweet memories;
u once lived in, fell in love with.

the story of our ex-es are secrets
never to be mentioned
so as to ease our tension

hidden in our D Drives
the secret spaces in my mind
bringing moments to rewind
giving present the space to breath
so new love can choose to give

the story of our ex-es like weapons
they kill emotions
and raid thy visions
drowning in these flickering flashes
to burn you down to ashes
tears of bitter sweetness
lies one's past in all its greatness

the story of our ex-es like songs
written in past defences
with all five of my flaccid senses

the story of my ex-es
i am sorry for these messiness
i wish i could rewind
so u could still be kind

written by Timothy J. Alvin with Sharon Lim

do you have the courage then?

2009-02-04T10:41:00.003+08:00

no. i don't.
i need courage, i need to feel good about things.

the next 3 ways to lose weight

2009-02-03T22:43:00.003+08:00

6. Tune In, Tone Up
Dance to the music when you tune in to programs like American Idol or your favorite music show. Or get fired (up!) practicing your cardio boxing while watching The Apprentice.

Slip in a little strength training by lifting sodas instead of drinking them. Use those cans or bottles as hand weights for bicep curls. Or do triceps dips from the edge of the couch.

It doesn't matter exactly what you do, so long as you're up and active. Aim for at least 15 minutes. If you get really engrossed, you just might outlast the last survivor.

7. Skip a Meal (Out)
It's so tempting to grab a restaurant meal for lunch. But if the maître d' knows your name, you may be packing on more pounds than you realize.

"If someone else pays, I will go," you hear this every now and then right?

I realized just how many calories were coming from those high-caliber -- and high-fat -- lunches out. Now I just say no.

If you can't say no to every business lunch, try saying yes to wiser choices, like grilled chicken, roasted summer vegetables, or an appetizer as an entree.

8. Size Matters
Eating less without feeling denied is as close as your dinnerware.

"A lot of eating is psychological," says Don R. Powell, PhD, president of the American Institute for Preventive Medicine, which provides health and wellness guides to hospitals, insurance agencies, and HMOs.

While a small portion served on a large plate can leave you craving more, a smaller plate gives the visual cue that you already have more.

Basically "you're tricking yourself into being satisfied with less," says Powell. "You simply won't put as much food on a smaller plate."

And don't forget smaller bowls, cups, and spoons. Try savoring a bowl of ice cream with a baby spoon, recommends Powell. Not only does the pleasure last longer, but your body has time to register the food you've eaten.

the art of losing myself | when emotion complicates

2009-01-28T08:34:00.003+08:00

It is what I've been trying really hard not to indulge (u say, drown) in.
Emotions get things personal and it affects you in every way.
It complicates, really.
You can't think right cos you don't feel right.
You make decisions that you'd regret.
You leave promises hanging.
You led love to hurting.
You fucked up lives, including yours.
You have no reasons to feel remorse.
Emotions; devil's best tool to drive you astray.

I redefined feelings.
Now within my comfort zone.
A little surprises to tease and to be at ease.

But learning to draw (or to simply define) a line in 'feelings' ain't that simple, it require skills drawn from heart breaking experience/s. You dig them out from where you hid them, like shovel in your grave deep sand. The shameless words of love, the lies for pain in freedom, the secrets you will never speak of. For it is said - what does not kill you only makes you stronger.

It took me some time before I figured that some things are not meant to be felt, but instead they are to be dealt with.

The lesson learnt here is not to personalize all things and events; be selective in what you engage yourself.

my all time favourite advertisment | Discovery

2009-01-24T13:07:00.001+08:00

林子祥獅城找愛的替身| my friend, Rose is the 替身

2009-01-19T13:27:00.003+08:00

You see the lady on my banner?

Now, she has become popular. Read this: (if u can't read chinese, too bad lah hor)

ARTICLE FROM : China Press林子祥獅城找愛的替身

（新加坡訊）“愛人”不在身邊，林子祥獅城尋找“愛的替身”！

相隔6年，林子祥前晚連同30人交響樂隊于Max Pavilion呈獻

《林子祥交響樂生命之曲演唱會》，吸引了近5000人到場。
從一開場的黑色西裝，中場的改良黑色中山裝到后來的兩套黑色上衣，林子祥全程都“黑漆漆”的，所幸他心情一點也不黑，臉上一直帶著笑容，還不時跑到台下和觀眾握手，看來心情興奮。
他在演唱《選擇》時提起太太葉蒨文：“今晚Sally不在這裡，她人在悉尼，接下來又要去雲頂演出，所以今晚我一個人唱《選擇》，好慘！”但不甘寂寞的他其實早有準備，找來了忠實的女歌迷上台一同合唱經典情歌《選擇》。林子祥對女歌迷疼愛有加，不但大方親吻臉頰，還親切地擁著她對唱，讓女歌迷受寵若驚，開心不已。

This 女歌迷 is Rose, the lady on my blog banner. Now if 林子祥 has martial problems with his wife when he returns; Rose, you would probably be the reason why.

the art of losing love

2009-01-19T07:39:00.000+08:00

The last time we were here, it was raining.
I am back here at this very place again
And it looks like its the same again.

I try as much as I can to avoid the places we've been.
For all they bring is sweet and lustful memories.
Yes, so much life in it's reality.

I still see you standing, queuing.
You peep through the glass walls,
waving and asking if I want another muffin.
I said no but still you insist.

I still see you staring and feeling worried.
You keep asking if I am hungry,
I said fruits to make me happy.
You walked out to see if there're any.
I said no but still you insist.

I still hear you nagging, whining
You said I better listen or you're leaving
You nagged like love was speaking
I said yes cos you will insist

I still hear your last words ringing
You said no more cos you need space for breathing
You walked off with eyes tearing
I said no cos love still exist

-- September 16 2008

what am i reading now?

2009-01-18T15:14:00.006+08:00

What am I reading? toknowwhereimcomingfrom by Johann S Lee

One who is writing is ex-Singaporean, now naturalised British citizen, Johann S Lee. His second novel, tells the story of a Ben Goh, the only son of an upper class "District 10" family who left Singapore to study law in Britain and never returned. When his relationship comes crashing down, Ben decides he needs a change of scene, and so takes a long holiday back here in Singapore with his best friend Holly. While she discovers Singapore for the first time, he rediscovers a place that in some ways has changed dramatically, and in other ways, not at all.

And then there's family, especially parents who are getting on in age, with illness around the corner. Where does one strike the balance between personal aspirations and family obligations, when one wants to be 10,800 km from the other?

From Reviewer Ng Yi-Sheng on his third book,

"You see, Johann became famous in 1992 when he wrote... Peculiar Chris at the age of 21. In 2007, he published his long-awaited second book, To Know Where I'm Coming From. Both books were important as pioneering documents... were also extremely flawed, with pretty bland literary styles and unconvincing characters. But on the train back home, I started reading. And I thought, oh my god. Quiet Time really is very good."

My verdict. Four chapters into the book, so far so good. It's simple to understand and you can pretty much relate to most of the incidences he painted in the story. I've heard that his 3rd book is much better and I'm definitely getting a copy for myself after I finished this.

I bought my copy @ Clinque, The Cathay. $19.30! It's cheaper than the other bookstores!

You can check them out also at TIMES the Bookshop and at SportsmenAsia, Chinatown Point at SGD24.61. It will soon be available at MPH and Kinokuniya.

the art of kissing

2009-01-16T14:19:00.007+08:00

(Jerome and Sharon making out* @ Haji Lane....)

How to kiss right? Let me show you how!

It's supposedly romantic, an act of overflowing of love or 'flirting', an agression and an intimate moment for two. But it can get really messy and awkward if you get it wrong.

Here's how:

1. Set the scene. Make sure that the mood and time are right.
2. Relax! Take a deep breath and let go of any tension in your neck and shoulders.
3. Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.
4. Start off with a normal kiss, not too firm, not too aggressive. Closing your eyes is optional.
5. In mid kiss, gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other persons mouth open using your tongue.
6. Again, not too aggressively, move your tongue inside the other persons mouth and playfully touch their tounge.
7. Read the other persons body language, if they seem tense or start to pull away, stop what you are doing. Don't 'ngeh ngeh lai' (in hokkien: purposely continue)
8. If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
9. As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.
10. Make sure you keep your tongues relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), you don't want the kiss to turn messy.

Tips:
- Don't forget to breathe.
- Since French Kissing is "wetter" than other kinds of kissing it is a good idea to start with dry lips, don't lick them first. :P slurps*
- If one of you have braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be more careful and not as forceful when things get passionate.
- If both of you wear braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be very gentle and avoid touching teeth.
- French Kissing takes practice, but at least it is fun to practice this one!
- If the breathe stinks and you hate it, stop it.
- If you don't feel the love and it gets boring after like a couple of tongue overlapping, stop it.
- If you become sober suddenly (say, u kissed someone in the club cos u were high), stop it.
- If you realise that he/she is touching u all over while kissing and you are not comfortable with it, stop it.

Well, that's all the advice I can give. But if you really want practical lessons. You can sign up for a FREE practical kissing trial with me. Please submit a photo of yours with the application form which can be downloaded erm.. here. :/ Successful candidates will be notified by post/email.

*Jerome and Sharon Baba Linga making out then love @ Haji Lane. More Exclusive Scandal Photos in my earlier posts.

10 Painless Ways to Lose Weight (Part I)

2009-01-15T11:08:00.004+08:00

How do you get from (85kg):

To this (60kg):

I hate execising and I'm sure no one loves it in nature. However, there's an alternative to it. Like I always say to people when they ask about my weight loss - "it is all in your head". These steps are tips I came up with to help you balance your lifestyle, change your perspectives and get you geared up to weigh lesser by the weeks!

The truth is that, while eating healthier and slipping in exercise takes some work, it doesn't require heroic effort. Making just a few simple lifestyle changes can pack a big weight loss punch.

Here are the first 5 ways to weight loss:

1. Lighten the Foods You Already Love
One of the easiest ways to cut back without feeling denied is to switch to lower-calorie versions of the foods you crave. A pizza tastes just as good with reduced-fat cheese. Don't have it for dinner, have it for lunch instead.

And when you garnish low-fat crackers or low-fat ice cream with your favorite toppers, who notices the missing calories?

The key is to look for lighter versions of any product that contains fat or sugar. Look out for the Healthier Choice labels or compare the nutritional facts. I am serious, it makes a difference.

2. Share and Share Alike
With the massive meals/buffets served at most restaurants, it's easy to go Bloated and eventually a big waistline.

When I go out, I usually share dinner with my friends. Split the meals, have a big piece of fruit later to fill it up!

You can share more than just a meal out. Why not double up on a bicycle built for two?
Or go gymming together?
It's is true to say that - "When people come in together they're more apt to encourage one another."

3. Forget About Working Out
If the word "exercise" inspires you to creative avoidance, then avoid it. The trick to enjoying a workout is to never call it working out. I call it -- Fat Burning Session. It feels good to know you are buring fats. :P

Most people enjoy sex without the idea that it may be a good calorie burner, and yet, among other things, sex can be a great workout.
So burn calories, invigorate your muscles, and lose weight by beachcombing, shooting hoops, riding bikes, grass-skiing, snow-shoeing, hiking, playing Frisbee, or even enjoying sex!

Oh ya, I will share with you my gymming regime also in my next write up on Weight Loss. My regime is really different and I will tell you how and when its the best time to work out.

4. Add, Don't Subtract
Try adding foods to your diet instead of subtracting them. Many people get this wrong, they try to reduce their food intake and they will eventually realise they are always restless and falling sick. The reason is cos they lack of energy.

Go for healthy goodies like summer-fresh fruit and garden-crisp veggies. And be sure to select things you love, like deep-red cherries or crunchy snow peas.

Then slip those favorite fruits into your bag lunch, your breakfast cereal, and your afternoon snack; add the veggies into stews and sauces, and as a complement to lean meals.
Focus on these delicious additions and you just may find yourself subtracting a junk food standby simply because you're enjoying your new, healthier favorites.

5. Go Walk About, Move your body, Get going!
Finally, Shopping is healthy!

1. Go shopping! Hike the mall and be sure to hit all the levels.
2. Do your own housework. Sweep, mop and clean your windows every once a week.
3. If you park, park further. E.g. Back of the lot
4. Take the stairs
5. Walk slopes - go climb mountain
6. Go to the beach - erm, don't just lie and get tanned, run, volleyball!
7. Walk your friend home
8. Hop/ Skip anywhere for 100 counts.
9. Give yourself time limit to things. When you get yourself busy, you will lose weight
10. Join a club, group of friends. Like I said earlier, when you get yourself busy, you'll realise that you will get motivated to get more things started.

Watch out for the next 5 tips I'd be sharing + my gym regime + How to look slim to begin with!

playhouse movie review | what to watch and what not to?

2009-01-14T13:21:00.003+08:00

There's a lot to catch up with the cinema releases this month. So I (a film maker and frequent reviewer) decided to give you a short reviews on the movies and tell you what to and what not to watch so to SAVE you money. I've even got the trailers here for your convenience.

The Top 5 List

No. 5 赤壁：決戰天下 (Red Cliff 2)
The much anticipated sequel to the first that was released mid last year.
My verdict: Good but not as exciting as the first one.
Entertainment: 6/10
Art: 7/10
Overall: 6.5/10

No. 4 Doubt
This is no doubt one good movie which had Meryl Streep (Devil Wears Prada) landed in Oscar and Golden Globe'09 Best Actress Nominee.
My Verdict: It's Meryl Streep!
Entertainment: 7/10
Art: 7/10
Overall: 7/10

No. 3 Revolutionary Road
This film reunites Kate and Leonardo since 90's Titanic. Kate Winlet won best actress for Revolutionary Road and best supporting actress for The Reader at Golden Globe last Sunday.
My Verdict: This is a piece of revolutionary film. With A-list casts and fantastic story. Go read the book!
Entertainment: 7/10
Art: 8/10
Overall: 7.5/10

No. 2 He's Just Not That Into You
All star cast.
My Verdict: I just love the movie. The characters are real, the situations I can relate to. The humour, romance and relevance got me really excited.
Entertainment: 8/10
Art: 7/10
Overall: 7.5/10

No. 1 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Tells the story of Benjamin Button, a man who starts aging backwards with bizarre consequences.
My Verdict: With Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett (my fav actress of all time), nothing could beat this film! The tagline goes - Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments. How true, how beautiful.
Here's a Triva: Brad Pitt spends 5 hrs every day for the makeup before the shoot.
Entertainment: 9/10
Art: 9/10
Overall: 9/10

Watch them! and I'll see ya @ the next Playhouse Movie Club Screening.

6 Ways to Make People Like You + Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

2009-01-13T18:45:00.003+08:00

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Smile.

Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Be a good listener.

Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

related post: (The Art of Existence)

EXCLUSIVE! | The Not So Popular Celebrities Scandal

2009-01-13T11:38:00.002+08:00

8 Days recently covered a writeup with Mediacorp's Felicia Chin on the Local Paparazzi scene(which is dead and boring). Apparently, Singapore needs more of 'em to spice the entertainment industry up. And here is my lil contribution:

This article will feature ex-celebrity(due to damn bloody low ratings) Sharon Baba Linga and POPstar Glance Glare (yes, she's a sore to the eye). Have fun!

a full cover story of Sharon Baba LingaSharon Expressing her love for men's chest. I was the victim.

Glance Glare Online Sex Scandal

What happened to our girl who sang 'Opps, I did you again?"

cheerios! good day everyone!

EXCLUSIVE! | Look how I've changed since 2004

2009-01-12T15:25:00.011+08:00

Now it's time to bring you back to year 2004 to take a look at the OLD (irony) me. It's always fun to look back and realise how much you've changed.

Here's your first challenge; find me in the picture below:

The answer will be revealed shortly! :P

<2004> This picture I took in my room when I was 17. I looked so nerdy and dumb. SERIOUSLY.

<2005> Dumb and Dumber

<2006> And everything gone messy. My hair, my glasses. I don't really care about the way I look, my dress sense, my facial hair.
This is the ugliest period of my life.
FYI: I hated gatherings, I don't enjoy friends, I don't like Orchard. I love TV and TV and TV.
<2007> I decided to do something to my hair. This was the nicest picture I had then...

The FIRST attempt to makeover:
FAILED!

<2007> Okay, I admit. This is damn gay. I took this when color contact lenses first launched.

(it's light blue O.o - why did I even buy that?!) I also had my right ear pierced.

Then came God. And church...
Followed by new friends, new people... new life.
I started enjoying music, movies and hanging out.

BUT I STILL HATED EXECISING.

I found Nutty; my son.

<2008> And I found myself too... I really like this Olive Green hair. :P
And I love my transition glasses. 2008 was a big change for me. In fact, it's the most exciting period of my life. There are endless stories and adventures.
It is also the year Engage Playhouse was born.<2008> I decided to change my glasses to give a different look.

<2008> I became crazy over Sheylara. LOL. kidding.
We were friends and we did some projects together.

<2008> It was before army. There was a party, I had to be crazy. <2008> Enlistment day. I shaved.
<2008> 14 days in camp. A tanned me.
<2008> I really loved my camp mates. They make my life in BMTC so fun and memorable. <2009> Me posing for Jax (the photographer).

<2009> Look how far we've come. This picture I took with Rose @ Mt Fabs. <2009> wif Sy and Sharon @ Sentosa

... And here's the answer to the mystery!

TADA! this is me:

I am not the best looking person on earth. And neither am I charming or cute in anyway. But thank you for loving me and thank you for being part of my life.

@ vivo city

This blog (That Art of Losing Myself) reflects my life journey from 2004. How I've failed, how I've felt, how I lose it and picked myself up again.

"I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow,
a wave tossed in the ocean like a vapor in the wind.
Still you, hear me when I'm calling
and you catch me when I'm falling.
Cos you love me not for what I've done but for who I am.
I'm Yours."

The Dark Knuts Flyer

2009-01-08T11:40:00.002+08:00

http://www.nowstagethis.com/events-Chestnuts09-flyer.html

Why do I keep publicizing it when I am not involved at all? :/
Cos I was once a publicist and it kinda runs in my blood, I love giving what I love the attention and I will do what I need to do to get people interested in it. HAHA, maybe I should be a publicist instead of a film maker!

great movies jan - feb 2009!

2009-01-08T11:06:00.003+08:00

I am really going crazy cos this is an exciting month packed with lots and lots of interesting movies! I would think that it is because Oscar and Golden Globes is around the corner.

Here are my recommendations:
- Sean Penn; MILK (Golden Globe)
- Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman; Australia (Oscar)
- Anne Hatheway; Rachael Getting Married (Oscar)
- Penelope Cruz and Ben Kingsley; Elegy (Oscar)
- Kiera Knightly; The Duchess (Oscar)
- Angelina Jolie; Changeling (Clint Eastwood)
- Meryl Streep; Doubt (Oscar)
- Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt; The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Golden Globe)
- Tony Leung and Takeshi; Red Cliff II (Golden Horse)
- Jamie Foxx; The Soloist (Oscar)
- Daniel Crag; Defiance
- Samuel L. Jackson and Kate Winslet; The Reader
- Tom Cruise; Valkyrie (Oscar)
- Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio; Revolutionary Road (Oscar)

And if you prefer a lighter theme;
- Anne Hatheway and Kate Hudson; Bride Wars
- Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson; Marley and Me
- Brendan Fraser; Ink Heart
- All Star Cast; He's Just Not That Into You

OR if you enjoy local flavours:
- Chris and Fann; The Wedding of The Year
- Yann Yann; Love Matters (Jack Neo)
You can check out more local films @ sinema.sg
I saw this 2 local films lately that were screened there and I think you should catch em as well:
- S11
- 18grams of Love

[Looking for Producer] Engage Playhouse 1st Anniversary Production | My Wedding Night

2009-01-07T12:02:00.003+08:00

Hello Everyone,This is Timothy from:I am glad to inform that Engage is now ONE year in running! 2008 was a tough year for the team, we are a small team with big dreams. To achieve them, many sacrifices have to be made but thank God no blood was spilled. Once again, thank you everyone for supporting us and giving us advices fora head start. We have a few events/productions in 2008-2009(JAN) and they are namely:

- The Ricebowl; In Hokkien, Chinese and EnglishCasts Ex Mediacorp Veteran; Lim Jin Chi, Fish Chaar, Louis Fong withLIFE! Best Actress in Supporting Role; Serene Chen
"OFFICIAL ENTREE To Faber Film Fest"
"Screened @ Storyboard'08"

- The Release; In Hokkien, Chinese and English
Casts Mediacorp Artistes, Nick Shen Wei Jun, Priscelia Chan and June Lim LiYun.
Release date: Mid 2009 for festivals/screenings

- WaterBom @ Bali
A Televsion commercial/Corporate Video shot entirely in Bali.

- Prosperoville; Production Supervision (Peaceful Warrior Productions)

- Playhouse Movie Club; Monthly Movie Screenings with post screening discussion.

- Summer of Impermanence; Production Supervision (Peaceful Warrior Productions)Casts Ex-Mediacorp Steven Woon

This year, we have a new project titled "My Wedding Night". It will be an interactive theatrical performance. We are currently in discussion with a HK TVB artiste on working in this project with us.We are also looking for a PRODUCER to champion this project with me.
These are the basic job specifications:
- it's OTOT (you can do this as a form of sideline, no specific time commitment is required)
- it's open to students as well; as long as you are above 18 :)
- it's okay if you're new to theatre; as long as u r open minded
- it's an eye opener cos we'll be exploring endlessly and of course pushing limits.

Don't ask me if I am paying you yet, ask me how much fun and life will you get when you leave this production @ ta.engage@...

Regards,
Timothy (Jia Wei)
Engage Playhouse

MUST WATCH! chest nuts 2009 | Dark Knuts: Welcome to Avenue Quantum

2009-01-06T12:57:00.004+08:00

I totally love this yearly paraody show, last year it got me rolling on the floor.

Singapore’s one-of-a-kind live parody sketch show Chestnuts is back for its 12th side splitting installment -DARK KNUT : WELCOME TO AVENUE QUANTUM

Get ready for a rollercoaster ride of parody sketches, spoof songs and countless moments of sheer comic ecstasy, delivered with a uniquely Singaporean twist and a lot of naughtiness!

Watch our comedy-quartet play dozens of roles as we slip gleefully from song and dance numbers to mock Hollywood movie trailers and local spoof sketches, mixed with hilarious mock ads and madcap multimedia moments.

Join Chestnuts creator Jonathan Lim, comedy partners Rodney Oliveiro and Judy Ngo, and titillating newcomer Terence Tay (Living With Lydia) as they pay tribute to the year’s biggest, most memorable and most bo liao films, plays, musicals and current events!

All accompanied by the irreverent musical genius of Bang Wenfu and featuring the puppetry genius of Frankie Malachi!Some of this year’s highlights ….

•Quantum-Mia – Why is an ex-007 is on a Greek island masquerading as a father of the bride in a musical when he clearly cannot sing ? Who will survive this S.O.S ? Find out!

•Welcome to Avenue P - we discover why there’s a fine, fine line between a Tony-award winning hit musical and an all-pinoy cast prom Manila. Featuring original puppets by Frankie Malachi and original porn from the internet!

•Singalympics - Since F1 only managed to shut down a small part of the island, Singapore decides to make a daring bid to host the next Olympics! But since its recession, die die also must cut a few corners here and there lah…

•BATS in the CITY – 4 smart single wo-men taking charge of their own lives discover the ups and downs of fighting crime while looking hot, and learn that that happiness is a warm moist Bat Cave…

•Pondan New Asia proves that no Noose is good Noose as they bring you the latest in world news, sports, financial reports (featuring the Gayman Brothers) and weather (with weather-girlyboy Optimina Prime) …Also…

•See how Diana Krall deals with noise spill from the F1 racers…

•See how the Singapore Flyer tries to revive popularity with daring package deals…

•What happens when the PM’s National Day rally speech and the Olympics table-tennis finals HAVE to air concurrently ?

•and more, including Rihanna, Gong Li, 25 years of Mandarin drama, Lea Salonga, Chris & Fann’s The Wedding, Kanye West, Mas Selamat and much more madness!!

Performance Dates and Times:

11th Feb, Wed, 8pm
12th Feb, Thu, 8pm
13th Feb, Fri, 8pm
14th Feb, Sat, 3pm, 8pm
15th Feb, Sun, 3pm, 8pm

Prices ranges from $25 - $58 @ Victoria Theatre. I'm definitely going, who's coming with me?
This is a spoof of Umbrella and 881 in their performance last year:

more pictures of KL!

2009-01-06T12:06:00.005+08:00

And here it is - more pictures of KL (as requested by Starry).

Indeed KL is a shopping haven, most malls are ridiculously big* and it would take days to conquer while some compact with shops selling affordable wears.

* e.g. 15 storeys of shops, many wings/hubs in a mall, extentions etc.

Sungei Wang - i like this mall cos it's relevant and affordable.

This is their passenger control, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DON'T HAVE AUTOMATED MACHINES FOR COMMUTERS TO PURCHASE TICKETS!
Even BKK has it.

the old school card slot believe it or not! they have a bridge in their MRT station. how corny! :P

I was taken aback when I saw this. O.o

Haagen-Dazs in a Glasshouse

The Pavillion's Directory (KL's Vivo City) This Madam Kwan is everywhere and it looks quite Atas.

They serve traditional malay food such as Nasi Lemak and Bryani.

The only diff with this and Food court is probably the price. The East Atrium (refer to the other post for the Central Atrium)
No Golden Village but Golden Screen Cinemas. My GV movie club card was useless. the top level of the river valley mall.
the christmas deco in the mall, its funny cos on the 26th December(one day after christmas), I hear them playing CNY songs in Zara. Man, don't the Malaysians love Ang Bows?
This is another shot of the night makan place which is a 5mins walk from my Hotel (Swiss Garden). This guy performs table to table. How romantic!
this mall gives impression of our LOT1 and BKK's MBK shopping Centre. The exterior is deceiving; the inside is white, neat, classy. In fact I find so many similarities in KL and BKK!
the hotel room, its neat. well, at least better than Genting's First World (freaking small and uncomfy - 6000 rooms)

I travelled a lot in 2008. Let's see... at least 9 times?!

Summer of Impermanence

2009-01-06T00:46:00.003+08:00

these pictures r taken @mount faber yesterday evening.

i had a great time with Rose, she's totally random - just like me!

the art of exclusiveness | not so your friend

2009-01-05T09:20:00.004+08:00

Do you know who's really your friend? Who would be there for you at your darkest times?

First, you'll have to understand that you don't have to please everybody to get anywhere. Not everyone can play a part in your life. So if the person(whom you claim to be your friend) you are hanging out with is extremely petty, mean and grouchy because you lost your keys and had to turn back to search for it, think again. Do you really need/want a friend like this?

I suggest, make your friends list exclusive. Don't drop your standards and say "oh, everyone is my friend'; you're not a candidate for the parliment. Choose them wisely, call them out and invest your time to know them. Life is too short for them to make you miserable, so fuck the rest.

a new film i am involved in | Prosperoville

2009-01-05T00:26:00.003+08:00

Nope, I didn't direct it...
I was their Production Advisor (somewhat a consultant to the crew, director and the entire film).
Here's the poster:

eve @ the beach

2009-01-05T00:08:00.003+08:00

i met the crazy girls* (sharon n sy) through jerome and had a great time @ siloso beach on the eve of New Year. Okay, I can't play Volleyball.. but so what?

The crazy girls must have assumed that VB is a pinic; they went shopping for food and drinks before we set foot for Sentosa.

all of us

sy can't handle balls too
i tried to look cool... n

yay! cam whore...

* they think that they are very young (17), very cute and they behave like aunties. they think.

the trip

2009-01-04T23:04:00.006+08:00

these are some pictures i took in my trip, i didn't cam whore cos I was in really bad condition; my skin and hair was horrible!

@ the costume shop. haha. my 2 front teeth for christmas came true!
yes, i am starring as Wolverine in the next XXX-man. :P

an outdoor shop - Crocs. very cool huh!

icecream in a vehicle

it shld be Ultraman right?!

one of nicer mall - Pavillon

we used to have this in Singapore in Raffles Cityi bought an original one to try, the good old Raffles City Days

this is a BIG Mall located at Rivervalley or something... it has north, south, east and west court. it is said to be the biggest mall in Asia. well, Vivo met its competition.

a double storey CD shop. they use stairs instead of our HMV @ Hereen

the night makan-place

the glass-tube KTV (they call it the Green-Box KTV)

really comfy cafe, u can just lie and relax

the public toilet, gosh! it's more advanced than Singapore!

the double storey Mini Toons, the shops there are huge, spacious and is wider in it's selection

hola!

2009-01-01T12:21:00.002+08:00

hola! happy new year!!!
2009 is soo promising cos i have great plans and great stuff lining ahead!

2008 was a tough year for me (i will explain in my coming posts), packed with emotions, actions and great collections of memories. It's a year I would definitely want to re-live again!

Right, and ya know I've been Missing In Action for several days huh? I have been crazy seriously, was travelling, shopping, partying and beaching! Gonna post up some pictures of my adventures soon but hangon... i need to pen my resolution first!

I wish all my friends a great 2009 and wish your wishes would come to past!

playhouse movieclub | Notes On a Scandal

2008-12-24T11:57:00.006+08:00

Join me in our very first playhouse movieclub screening @ my cosy home and dig in for a night of fun and laughter packed with discussions, food and friends.

This would be the first movie we'd be screening:

Location: Blk 8 Haig View #09-433
Date: 2nd Jan 2009, Friday
Time: 7-10pm

Anyone is invited but please RSVP! :D

stay tuned to my film "The Release" screening dates!

the celebration of love

2008-12-24T01:37:00.007+08:00

I used to really look forward to Christmas, and that is especially when I was still actively involved in church. It's kinda like retreat for me; endless jokes and laughter all night long. I'd start getting myself busy shopping for presents in early December and would even have a loooong list of presents to account for. It's so much fun to imagine the reaction the person would have when receiving it. FYI, Every single gift I bought has a 'subtext'. E.g. I bought an arm rest for a friend and wrote him a note: "Thank you for supporting me and being there for me all the time. I feel so safe and comfortable in your presence." I gave a pencil box (with a pen that has my name printed on it) to another friend of mine and the note goes like this: "this is where we choose what and how we want to pen our life. please pen me in yours too! merry x'mas!)

It has so much suspense and surprises that kept me counting down to the party dates. I love those house parties where we(friends) will just gather in a cosy place, play some random games, watch movies, exchange gifts, carol etc etc. Those were the days... *looking back and sighing*

well... Christmas 2008 is boring, I have nothing to anticipate cos exciting going on. Everyone seems to be too busy for anything these days.

But I'll be out for a poolside party tmr evening. :/ Merry Christmas!

Some pictures I dug out of Christmas 2006

mr. paranoid's first fan

2008-12-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

After the event, a crazy fan of Mr. Paranoid came running after me.
He insisted to have me on his facebook, well... i agreed since it is of no harm.
And the very next day i received a picture-tag from him:

OMG. my very first imitation. anymore?

more pictures of mr. paranoid @ dxo

2008-12-21T23:36:00.003+08:00

From MR. Paranoid.

Hi, my name is Huh Cham La aka Mr. Paranoid born in tekka hospital. I am 20 this year but I really doubt so leh, cos I think I look younger... no meh? Yesterday was quite a jia lat night, everyone like want to take picture with me. Cham la, hope they better don't show around the people my picture. I got statue (aiya, dunno how to spell lah) one leh. Got one girl say want to take picture of her kissing me, die, my mother see I sure die. Yesterday is Saturday right, ya.. u see me wear shorts cos every alternate day I must air my leg hair. if not, later it will stick to my pants. i wan to thank all de ppl who clap for me and vote for me that day. I got win big presents leh, got the OSIM iScale. Now I dont need to pay 20 cents for the machine outside to see if i got grow fat. talk abt that, i eat very much at the party le, cham la, i sure go fat one. I go use the OSIM iCount see how many fat i have. and err... my glasses not crooked (dunno how to speel la) and don't laugh at me leh, i know i look like brad pit la. i abit shy then how? Huh... these are picture my friend prawn (wanxia) give me one. u see lor. i on stage.

i really don't know what is happening leh...

the host ask me to dance, then i dance lor

huh... what is happening again?

blue, me and er. one prawn

cham la, christmas liao... i haven't been good for the past 20 (or younger) year. i no see santa yet leh, u wait huh... i go hang my socks.

-- meery christmas.

Nuffnang Blogger's Christmas Party

2008-12-21T16:52:00.003+08:00

While waiting for my friends to send me the pictures taken on the event so I can show you how I actually looked last evening. I've laid out all the prizes that I've won last night. Ta-da!

From the most expensive(I assume) to the least:

1. OSIM iScale (a weighing machine that can measure your fats/water)
2. Wireless Modem (Err... for what?!)
3. OSIM iCount (count the calories u lose while exercising, comes with FM radio)
4. "Lie By MoonLight" New York Times Bestseller by Amanda Quick
5. Refine Eyemasks/Leg Patches (looks really good!)
6. myStamps from VPost(with my pictures on it!)
7. Gackt Redemption DVD (some Japanese anime MTVs, I don't quite want it)
8. $50 OSIM voucher (with $250 purchase)
9. Bio Essence TANAKA White Mask (thanks, my mom would love this)
10. A uPaPa drum (as in literally a toy drum?!)
11. 3 x Cafe Nova Coffee Sachets

Okay... i find these gifts/prizes really cute. I've marked those that I do not need/want in red. And I should probably put them on SALE (since I am in need of money, hee hee).
" 来啊！来啊！LELONG LELONG! all 5 marked RED items at only $40 ah! " :/

And how the hell did I win so many prizes?
- 8th Prize Lucky Draw
- Stage Game (i was DRAGGED on Stage by BLUE)
- Best Dressed for the Night segment
- Goodie Bag!

I was one STEP away from winning the 7th Prize (airtickets to Medan)!
But nonetheless, I was happy but paranoid. O.o

first look at MR. Paranoid

2008-12-21T12:10:00.003+08:00

first look @ the christmas party last night @ DXO hosted by Nuffnang and VPost.

This picture is taken by Michael Yip while we're being Post-ited by the crowd for the Best Dress Segment. TypicalBen seems to have a lot of attention with his great sense of style in crossdressing.
P.s. (s)he's the one with the hair band and wide smile. And i look still so paranoid with the crooked specs.

the art of losing myself | revelation

2008-12-21T11:27:00.004+08:00

It is always this question one would be stuck at - who am i?
Yes, it's silly; reminds me of the Jackie Chan movie and you would probably be thinking 'aye ya, u r just confused kid. not everyone is like u!' But be amazed, statistics shown that more than 86% people in Singapore faces identity crisis. We're stuck; we're moving forward but I moved so fast that I do not know who I am.

Indeed, it is not as easy as many would assume to really understand ourselves from the inside out. The human mind gets as complicated as it can - Hundreds and thousands of things can run through our mind in less than a min, countless swing of moods and feelings in just a day. You would probably hear people around you saying this OR you feel this way about yourself - "you r so unpredictable! you keep changing"

Who are we really?
It is very much who we want ourselves to be. Where we want to position ourselves and how we want to get there.

I figured...
be who you will want to respect.

and if you are who you will want to respect, kudos. I respect you too.

mr. paranoid @ DXO

2008-12-20T23:47:00.003+08:00

I just got back Nuffnang's blogger Christmas Party @ DXO.
it was crazy, seriously... maybe becos I was Mr. Paranoid.

Look out for pictures here! :P

二零零九将会不一样

2008-12-16T19:06:00.003+08:00

我开始学会董事。
去分配时间，给自己空间

Life took a 90 Degree turn lately. Things have changed over a short span of a month. I no longer cry on the shoulders of friends I remember.
I no longer live on the edge of love that petrol the nights.
I no longer find myself at the places I'd hide.

I've journeyed out of the city; a world like ember I had lived. Hid in the pretense of life and light, with hope tied on ropes of dim.

2008 (at present) is/was a very memorable year. Everything I wished to happen, happened and vice versa. It was like a emotional ride; crazy. I feel different every day, and every day made me different in every way. I rode to places with feelings I never thought existed, I slide through hills with simply no skills!

2009 is going to be different, yes, I can even smell it.

one love two many

2008-11-26T15:52:00.004+08:00

so many yet only

... if love was a ride - "... relationship comes with a price, just like my taxi meter, every mile you go, you pay..."
... if it was a person - "... the feeling of just holding you tight, like we're never gonna say goodbye"
... if it was a lie - "... hi, my name is Edward and I'm a Doctor", George reached out his hands to greet...
... if it was a letter - "... these are words I could never say, but I never said I would never write them"
... if it was a stranger - "... you just look familiar, I can't explain it but it felt like we'll meet tomorrow again"
... if it was a place - "... this was just a space like any other, you came, and everything got into place"
... if it was a promise - "... I will be back for you when I finally find myself..."
... if it was a gamble - "... why do you think that you're always worth something, when you don't?"

a timothy alvin film | 19.80
one love two many definitions

Speculated cast:
Annie Neo (My Sassy Neighbour),
Roy Nerng (The High Cost of Living, The Letter)

coming 2009...

2008-11-26T15:44:00.001+08:00

“喂！回家了。。。”

the song | art of losing myself

2008-10-25T20:56:00.003+08:00

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace

Everlasting, Your life will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your love goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your love goes beyond all fame

its an art to lose yourself, especially to the things you love.
i've learnt to find my way home:

www.theartofmatter.blogspot.com

the art of losing myself

2008-10-19T11:09:00.002+08:00

the tune continues but the music have stopped playing

my life goes on but i will stop writing

Thank you for being here with me for the past few months.

Thank you for the space.

Thank you for reading the art of losing myself for the next stage has just began...

cam whore-ing @ the Cathay

2008-10-18T01:59:00.006+08:00

ahhh... yes. i love picture taking. and that is the new 20yo me.

why are u so erm like nar-ci-sisst?

I gotta take a better look(by taking more pictures) at myself before I age. It's good to keep photo journals of your life stages. Seriously, time passes too quickly; in a wink of an eye, I'd be 55!

And like it is said, beauty lies in the eyes of the pencil holder. So anyone with pencil holders here?

20th birthday @ my place

2008-10-18T00:52:00.006+08:00

Thanks for making this day a really memorable one! Nothing glamorous, nothing pretentious...

Just my family and a few really great friends to make my day :)

(Andrew and I, lunch @ Soup Spoon)

(Everyone helping themselves with the yummy steamboat!)(Nutty said he couldn't afford anything, so he gave me himself)

(a family photo!)

(dt thanks for the wallet and thanks for singing so loudly!)

(it was messy fun! - just look at Eileen and me!)

EXCLUSIVE!! the sexiest girl in the universe

2008-10-16T10:14:00.003+08:00

well... it's true she (Sharon Tam) is the sexiest babe in the universe!

(her co-star, Garfield in the movie)
(a closer look at her sexy lips)

... erm... She's sexy in her universe, not ours lah. :/

happy birthday to me

2008-10-15T22:33:00.004+08:00

(took this picture like 3 years back while celebrating my 17th birthday -- that's Pearline Kong)

(the RP gang, incl. Nel, Me, Jerrome, Daryl Law, Windez, Hengyu and Pearline Kong ~ miss u!)

happy birthday to me

happy birthday to alvin

happy birthday to me!

I am trying to enjoy my last few moments as a teenager.

The freedom, the fun, the craziness, the randomness I would miss.

Not that I can't (behave randomly)when I am 20 but when you are labelled as an 'adult', you are expected to behave like one.

Having said that, I guess it's time for some personal reflection

Have I achieved anything at my 19th year?

Anything worth mentioning at all?

What have I sowed and be reaping?

Things have changed(are changing), I need to reposition myself in the bigger picture so to fit into the vision of my life. will spend this evening thinking and reflecting on this.

hmmm... live life like there's no tomorrow!

my poor sons

2008-10-15T18:02:00.003+08:00

I finally agreed to let my sons for a bath. (for months I have been contemplating)
So they set off early(around 7am) in the morning for the shower. I didn't know where they were the entire morning until I walked towards the kitchen's toilet. And here they are:

(from left: Skippy, Nutty and Crunchy)
(now, a closer look at my poor baby Nutty)

Well, at least they are all fresh and clean now. :P all ready to celebrate my 20th birthday with me.

Boy George's quote of the day

2008-10-15T10:51:00.005+08:00

"...Just because someone looks good doesn't mean they'll make you happy" - Boy George

how true?! this quote got me nodding...
...and this is what I am doing now:

the art of less is more

2008-10-15T10:24:00.007+08:00

(this is designed by me, all rights are reserved- so you better don't copy cut paste it!!)

the lesser you have, the lesser you lose
the more you had, the lesser you'll have now
the lesser you had, the more you'll have now
the art of less is more is a cycle, its irony

i had a lot and i am losing them all now
its time for me to stop and think again
what is best for me to regain?
the things you had and lost will stay as memories;
the people you shared lives with
the letters you wrote for each other
the dinners you had together
the gifts you gave and received
the love you had poured unconditionally even it was spilling all over
the moments you lived and knew you would miss

i've zipped them all up in a folder called 'memories'
hid it in my D Drive, somewhere I wouldn't see
wrote a email that will be sent to me
only when I've overcomed myself, away from my misery

here are my guests during my stay at SGH

2008-10-14T12:12:00.003+08:00

This place can be seriously boring without you! Thanks for dropping by and making me smile :)

(Diana, Eileen, Me and Emily)

Cavvy visited too!

2008-10-13T13:34:00.002+08:00

There is always two side to every story.
And it won't be made known and be fully comprehended unless you seek to find out.

I don't think there's any need for me to explain my side of the story; cos if you trust me, you know. There are so many things in life I've tried, I've failed and I'm now tired.

If everything was surreal, why did I try so hard?

the art of celebrating a lonely birthday

2008-10-13T12:48:00.008+08:00

(me with shaz, 2006)

Spending your birthday alone is probably not something you chose to do. There are times, however, when the circumstances put you in a position of being away from loved ones. While you may feel sad about spending your special day on your own, there are things you can do to make the most of it anyway.

Step1

Decide what you’re in the mood for. Not every person is the same, and not every birthday should be celebrated in the same way. If you’re in a celebratory mood, consider taking off work and planning the whole day as a celebration. If you feel depressed or prefer to simply forget about the day, you may be better off pretending is a day like any other and keeping up with your normal daily routine.

Step2

Buy yourself a drink. This could be an actual drink, like a glass of champagne, or it could be a cup of coffee at a gourmet place you like or one you have been meaning to try for a long time. If you don’t feel like going anywhere, you can still have a drink at home, while watching a movie or surfing the Internet.

Step3

Buy yourself a present too. This is especially important on a year where you’re alone and won’t be receiving presents from others. Think of something you have really wanted for a long time and then get it. Not matter what your budget is, there is always something you can get, from a small candle to a new DVD player.

Step4

Go to a show, buy tickets to the theater or take a road trip to a nearby town. Avoid just going to the movie theater or window shopping. Instead, do something more active, where there’s noise and people involved. This will take your mind off the situation and help you enjoy your time out more.

Step5

Consider leaving town for a couple of days. If you can’t afford the time or expense of taking a vacation, just book a night at a nice bed and breakfast within driving distance. Treat yourself to a nice lunch and then spend the afternoon strolling the unknown streets.

I am 20 soon (to be specific; this Thursday) and would most probably be spending this day with myself. well, happy birthday to me.

no longer I

2008-10-13T09:00:00.000+08:00

Unhabiting life thus longer I

the art to unlearn habits and go back to zero
to become who you were, back to where you were from, and to recover what you had
what you had was memories, the act of every present will last till centuries

the time will come for all to end for every beginning has an end

the war for love will turn sour
so retreating mood will come this hour

victory will lie in the hearts who win
defeat will comply in the minds who give

cleansing my hands
changing my trends

to find the confidence to mirror
the who I am, I am who I am

幽默幸福（ＰＡＲＴONE）第26页

2008-10-12T21:00:00.001+08:00

要爱一个人好难
要忘掉爱也好难

放手，不放手是个选择
爱我，不爱我不是原则

接受命运为你铺的路
不去写照自己的幸福

笑着。放手的是我

-- 阿聪

the hampers of love

2008-10-12T13:00:00.002+08:00

fruits and gift baskets from some ministers and chairman of GRCs, CCs...
didn't know I was so popular?!

well... will be taking my cardio examination tmr and that will determine if I will be able to discharge any sooner. *pray hard*

caught dating a dino

2008-10-12T10:07:00.003+08:00

well... this is a picture of hanson and his gf or bf (gender unknown)
apparently, they were having sex in the public. now hanson... u owe me an explanation, why a DINO?!

the art of boredom

2008-10-11T20:21:00.007+08:00

its when you stare into the ceiling

and you see light

its when you get needle poked into your arms

and you see blood

its when you are uncertain what is to come

and you see doctors go and come

its when you hear people moan and groan

and you sit and stone

its when you wonder why its you

and you blame God for all He do

its when you can't wait to get out

and you return to a place you'd call home

its when you don't see smiling faces

and you feel like calling them names

not in NS for now, in hospital :)

2008-10-11T17:22:00.004+08:00

yes. i am admitted to SGH.
have been feeling breathless lately.
let's pray that timo will recover soon and will blog more often!
i miss my camp mates and i miss everyone.

book out book out

2008-10-10T17:42:00.000+08:00

(this picture is taken before i enlisted)

sooo many 月饼 at home！so much that i think my dad had them for breakfast for weeks. eeyucks! Anyway, my hse is under renovation and will be up by this weekend!

I have not been taking pictures lately cos I simply refuse to show you how I look like without my hair and looking all so tanned (i seems to get tanner by the week! dammit!) and slim. So its time for some surprise soon as I gear up my camera and groom myself a little for a photo taking session with erm... myself and let's see. Anyone interested? :P

If nothing goes wrong(or I should say, if my Platoon Sergeant doesnt find any faults in me), I should be booking out tmr noon. sigh... army life is so predictable. I need something bigger to look forward to everyweek.

And I seem to have lost something along the way but i can't remember what it is.

and omg... i am reaching 20 soon :/

fate comes when faith exist

2008-10-09T09:00:00.001+08:00

its a simple entry today. fate comes when you believe in it.
the definition of faith is believing in what you can't see and the reward of faith is seeing what you have been believing.

fate is there, but u have to find it.

the things that makes you crazy

2008-10-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

What makes you crazy? be it positively or negatively? Kick ass food places? Bad customer service? Lotsa Money? When you lose your wallet? Army? Loved ones? (the picture above is from the movie Mad Money)

my top 5 list (from the least to the most)

5: Money

4: Insults and Rude people

3: Family

2: Work

1: Love

I am keen to explore this topic on craze further. wait till i'm back!

enlightment?

2008-10-07T16:15:00.002+08:00

I bought a book. it's titled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers" by Sean Covey.
It is an entertaining and thought-provoking.
It's good. I've read parts of it, inspired and perspired.

Here's a website you can read more about it (they even type the content out!)

阿聪的私密日记｜梦游者阿聪的信仰，是现实（第1页）

2008-10-06T09:00:00.001+08:00

一月　一日　二零零七年

新的一年新的start. 新的dairy, 新的我。

二零零六年过得很不容易，很sad, 爸爸和奶奶过世，妈妈因为家里没钱，一天打三份工累坏自己而常常生病。家里真的没钱了。妈妈说她也没办法供妹妹上幼稚园。hai。。。妈妈决定把屋子卖掉，换些钱来用，所以明天我们会到舅舅家借住一阵子。bye bye room, bye bye 抱抱。没有自由了，谁会喜欢住在别人的家啊？

我有try去kfc打工可是你也知道啦，我的english cannot make it de. 我也不时一个很外向的人，很难（也不喜欢）跟别人沟通。hai, 真的很stress le. 想帮也帮不上忙。

Then 我的成绩也不好，只有中文A1，其它科目都C6或D7。不是我不用功而是我常听不懂老师在说什么，我很慢的，英文不好什么都不会好的。。。我跟我的同学不熟，没机会一起温习。所以他们每次讲我很lag，笑我笨。

阿聪非常的期待二零零七年的到来。因为我告诉自己，今年我会不一样。我会更努力的study我的O'lvl，我会改变。我会去认识人，我会去学English。阿聪一定会更开心，会吗？

“。。。我会为世界而改变自己。。。”- 阿聪，01 January 2007

the art of losing myself | 迷路了，再也找不回自己

2008-10-05T09:21:00.004+08:00

当我踏出大门时
我是充满着信心
抱着无限的希望
向往着幸福的方向

路途虽长
晚风虽冷
但爱是推动力
告诉我终点在你怀里
使我自己更坚强

越走越深
越描越黑
路，越来越窄小
回头看
一片乌漆抹黑
看不到原点
看不到当时的我
信心在哪里？
希望在哪里？
幸福在哪里？

但我告诉自己不会走回头路

迷路了
路灯坏了
电话没电了
我也累了

看不到
听不到
失去方向
再也找不回自己

是我迷路了吗？还是你改变注意了？

回头路不能走，但我可以等。。。
- 顺风车
- 天亮
- 你来接我
- 等

the art of zero

2008-10-05T09:00:00.000+08:00

zero art is simple.
yet simplicity is the hardest to achieve but it tells the most in every situation and being.
thus it is an art. as it is commonly quoted, 'less is more, more is less", being able to translate a subject matter into the simplest form could possibly be the most effective and efficient way to deliver a message.

the art of zero is the take on honesty. honest to yourself, honest to others.
it's the most transparent, the most original form of life.
the beauty of zero is that it stands alone.

0 - it is made up of a curved line and completed with no sharp ends.
it has a hole that seeks to be filled; empty but powerful and impactful.

zero is important, it makes a whole lot of difference in things, money, attendance, lives etc.

compare:

Scenario A Disaster hits xxx country. 189 casualties and still counting.
Scenario B Disaster hits yyy country. 1890 casualties

Scenario A I lost $100.
Scenario B I lost $1000.

Scenario A 0 guest turned up
Scenario B 100 guests turned up

Zero has the ability to take things absolutely away from you too.
0 x 1 = 0
0 x 10,000 = 0

Well... I am sure you are aware of the power of zero but I'm using it as a metaphor here.
The more you practice the art of zero aka simplicity, the more you can play with it. The more you understand about the 'essence' or 'root' of a situation, issue, problem, the more you'll be able to solve it.

fyi. all of my "art of life columns" are (re)defined by me and not any professionals, you can give a thought on it but you don't have to agree all the time.

a little more to change the world

2008-10-04T08:47:00.002+08:00

Everyone has their role to play in everything in life.
And each role we carry redefines as responsibilities.
FYI, responsibility isn't a choice.

Here are some responsibilties of a man's life:

-National Service
-Family
-Earn $ and support loved ones

Well, we still have that choice to choose if we want to be responsible for anything at all. Nothing is certain until you learn to take ownership of your life; in your roles.

It's just that I feel very strongly that we are simply lack of initiative. We'll like to sit back, relax and watch and wait for things to happen. Sorry, but it won't happen cos YOU are the one who can make it happen.

To my production crew, my loved ones, my friends... just so you know, your role in my life plays a big part. Your every contribution and initiative taken to Project "Alvin" or "The Release" is impt and it makes a difference.

And just so you know, you are the deciding factor to many things. I hope you'd get it.

如果爱明天不回来，你会回家吗？

2008-10-03T10:23:00.001+08:00

i know i would feel this way
cos i've led myself to great dismay
let me speak up if i may
i have words i've yet to say

the choices we make
the life regrets we take
is that why we call them fate
and pray nothing comes too late?

i am feeling cold tonight
closing eyes, hugging tight
longing for the day when we reunite

如果爱明天不回来，你会回家吗？

So Close

2008-10-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?

We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close So close
And still so far

think practical

2008-10-02T09:40:00.001+08:00

whenever decision making is involved... think practical, no short cuts, reflect and think- stop making the same mistakes again.

the first thing to overcome is your emotional state of mind. is that true?

阿聪的私密日记｜喂！带我回家吧。（第２５页）

2008-10-01T08:35:00.008+08:00

三月　十二日　二零零七年

喂，我还在等你的电话。
我每分钟都会去查，你来电了吗？

今天阿聪非常sad，本来是想跟你去看Shrek3的。。。
已经冲好凉换了衣服，准备好了，我连晚餐的地点也想到了，戏票也定了，就你不在啊。
你不听阿聪的电话，是不是阿聪做错了？还是我说了不该说的？

我还记得我们刚认识的时候，你曾问我会不会迷路的。
我非常认真的答：“牵着你，不放手，不会不会！"
你就笑着点头，牵着阿聪一起走。～　哇！:P

喂，你在哪里？why no reply de?
你曾问我会为了什么而不跟你在一起。
我傻笑着说，“除非你不要阿聪，要不然，不会不会！”

昨晚，你叫阿聪自己回家
喂，你是不是不要阿聪了？

我错了，阿聪是会迷路的。你回来吧，我不会想太多了。

我还在等你带我会家。。。

--
阿聪is my friend and this is his diary.
I shan't disclose his real name but fyi he committed suicide this year in January.
It was not a successful attempt thus he is still in coma till this day.

the art of freedom

2008-09-30T10:19:00.002+08:00

what is freedom with an 11B?

don't even think about it cos you'll need permission for everything.

And worse of all everything is contridicting.
Was told to take initiative in things and at the same time, told not to do anything without permission or consult. what's what?!

i shall quote someone: "everything they say is a command, everything we say is an excuse."

yes, what is freedom with an 11B?

book out time!

2008-09-28T23:36:00.003+08:00

back from the te-kong (temptation island)!

not allowed to say much here... cos i was told by some people that some downed PES people are tasked to check and read blogs that talks abt them!

Anyway, here's a picture of me after book out. ask me over msn if u wanna know more abt my life in B-M-T-C.

till this day(after 2 weeks confinement), my stay in the forces is as good(or bad) as it can get (physcially and mentally).

high class but...

2008-09-25T09:00:00.001+08:00

(the extremely nice Calamari which is also extremely ex lah! - $40 leh)(Squeezing the lemon on the yummies)
Pregro (the overlook)

I had lunch there 2 weeks back. It's a posh place and you see expats having their lunch served with glasses of white/red. Prego is located at Raffles City, level one within the hotel.
I didn't think the food was fantastic but I'd say that the atmosphere brings me back to Sex and The City. Leaving Prego felt like I just departed from NYC.

So do check Prego out soon and let me know if you like it! :)

ee! awfully nice chocolate

2008-09-23T09:00:00.000+08:00

(i took this pic with 2 cups of e icecream)

I went to try the long desired for "Awfully Choco's Icecream". yummy dark chocolate icecream!(i am satisfied cos its awesome and heavenly!)

you shld try it too! there're 2 outlets that I know of:

1. Vivo City
2. Katong Shopping Mall

Don't worry its not too expensive, cos if I can afford it, you can too! :P
i miss the icecream...

AND YES, can you spot that Acne on my face! so jia lat lah! I think its gonna get worse when I am enlisted :/ okay, i need another hug.

Very Important People (VIP) | why so literal?

2008-09-22T09:00:00.000+08:00

Don't you like exclusiveness?
"i am sorry, all the tables are reserved for the guests. we look forward to serving you again..."

Imagine- you get home from a long and tiring day of work. Your beloved husband/wife prepared a sumptuous feast waiting for you to dig in. And a full body balinese massage, a Romance21 movie follows after. All of these in your bedroom and all was done just for you. - va va voom!

How do you feel when you receive a personal invite to a gala event or an exclusive opening to a club? Does exclusiveness makes any difference?

Yes, it does. It gives you a confirmation of(on) your status( i.e. in the industry, in a relationship etc). But we don't get all these all the time because things that are placed out there are usually to be shared by many or if not a few. Anyway, we don't ask for exclusiveness in everything. Just some things that you really care for (i.e. loved ones, some really impt events, your fav clubs).

I am just curious... What is your definition of exclusiveness?
Here's my definition:

Exclusiveness is when there is -
- A personal touch to it
e.g. have your name printed on an invitation
- A grand entrance to welcome you
e.g. not asking for a RED Carpet but at least to be fetched personally by the host or to be attended to. Cos it feels horrible when you attend a party and you never met the host the entire nite.
- A different treatment
e.g. where your wants are met like how your needs were met subconciously
- A first time experience
e.g. first to watch the preview, first to fly on the new Airbus, first of all the exs'to sleep over at your partner's place

Like I said earlier, exclusiveness does not work all the time. Do we seek to be special? Or do we just need to be noticed? So what if you are a VIP.
"i am sorry too... go ahead with your guests. do I even look interested to be part of it?" - sigh.

having enough is happy?

2008-09-21T09:00:00.001+08:00

I don't know what and how things would be going on right now as I'm writing this 2 weeks in advance but I am very certain that I am still learning to find joy in the new life of mine...

now, this question just popped: Does having enough makes you happy?

Which eventually would lead to questions like What is Enough? and What is your definition of happiness?

To me, having enough is to have your basic needs met:

This is what I learnt 3 years back on the 'needs': Mashmallow's Hierarchy of Needs. OPPS! i meant, Maslow*.

He(Maslow) has set up a hierarchy of five levels of basic needs. Beyond these needs, higher levels of needs exist. These include needs for understanding, esthetic appreciation and purely spiritual needs. In the levels of the five basic needs, the person does not feel the second need until the demands of the first have been satisfied, nor the third until the second has been satisfied, and so on.

Maslow's basic needs are as follows:

Physiological Needs
These are biological needs.
They consist of needs for oxygen, food, water, and a relatively constant body temperature. They are the strongest needs because if a person were deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person's search for satisfaction.
Safety Needs
When all physiological needs are satisfied and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the needs for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as widespread rioting). Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe.
Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness
When the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, the next class of needs for love, affection and belongingness can emerge. Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging.
Needs for Esteem
When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. These involve needs for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. Humans have a need for a stable, firmly based, high level of self-respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable as a person in the world. When these needs are frustrated, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless.
Needs for Self-Actualization
When all of the foregoing needs are satisfied, then and only then are the needs for self-actualization activated. Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was "born to do." "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write." These needs make themselves felt in signs of restlessness. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something, in short, restless. If a person is hungry, unsafe, not loved or accepted, or lacking self-esteem, it is very easy to know what the person is restless about. It is not always clear what a person wants when there is a need for self-actualization.

We can't lead a 'happy life' by just fulfilling our needs, there is a cycle, we co-exist so to fulfill each others'. E.g. you are hungry, and i need love. I'll feed you and you'll give me a hug. This is how it works.

However, everyone have different expectations of themselves. And this mental expectations would eventually be a desire turned need. Your basic needs may be someone's want. E.g. People who can't afford a home but you're born sheltered.

I believe this is a matter of perspective. There's always 2 sides to everything... Being(feeling) happy all the time may not be necessarily good as well. To me, the definition of a fulfilling(enriching+adventurous+wow!+exciting+insightful) life is one that brings me(or you) through emotional rides. Full of ups and downs, challenges and eventually breakthroughs. And when look back at your life on your deathbed, you can proudly say that you lived life. So if your life is peaceful and you feel just happy all the time(tho its good), start making things happen! Try things you've never attempted, here are some suggestions:
- visit an exotic country
- try listening to thai music
- pick up a new language
- learn cooking
- join a club and get involve politically
- speak out your mind; through blogging, over tea etc.
- break a world record

You'll find that life like this is much more exciting and fulfilling! No regrets.
So are you convinced that Sailing safe and smooth doesn't make you any tougher and wiser. That's why we call "Lao Jiao" (old bird), Lao Jiao.

Let me quote a friend...
"...my army life ah... quite sian.. nothing really memorable leh. why ah.. (he thinks)... i think becos we(army mates) didn't go through much together, we didn't really 'suffer'. So now looking back... it's just like that lor. its not as scary as you think la, not that bad de :/"

maybe life was intented to be scary. since God had made things unpredictable or I should say, unknown to us. Yes, it's scary to not know what's next. But we'll all gonna face it someday.

So... get a life! start living fully! even if anything happens the next moment(just say e.g. choy larh but u kena some sway accident and died), you'll have no regrets. OR would you still prefer your happy life?

the art of reality | i miss nutty

2008-09-20T09:00:00.000+08:00

there's this emptiness in the walk of my life that waits for love to fill

there's an unheard song in the valley of death that sings of hurt in weeping tunes

there's an hour i missed on the day of sabbath that change my thoughts on eternity

what. what if i missed the most impt moments?

what. what if i lived the life i didn't want?

what. what if i still don't know the reason i live?

the struggle is to find the true self in me.

the constant uncertainty- is the reality me?

written by me on Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 3:10am

don't you miss me? cos I miss myself here and I MISS MY BABY NUTTY!!!

:/ so emo right... come on, I need a hug!

the bigger picture is incomplete if you don't find the piece of right information

2008-09-19T09:00:00.000+08:00

(me in 2006)

(me now in 2008- August)

Speaking your mind out loud feels good.

In fact, it feels awesome to be able to be yourself to everyone.

Now the question is, is everyone able to accept you for who you are?

Wait, you might ask - why do you need everyone's confirmation or approval in life?

Simple! Cos the world is made up of different kinds of people, with unique personalities, untold mentalities, unseen cultures and unheard languages. To be part of the world, we need to make that extra effort to go beyond who we really are. Note; you won't have to be of the world, we just need to be in it! If you think that just being yourself is good enough, you will soon find out that you are isolating yourself from everything, everywhere, everyone else.

Look, we need to constantly make efforts and take initiatives so to be able to relate to the things/people/wants/needs/love/care/likes. For example, I love France. I love the people there, and I want to live there. But I can't just stay who I am and expect the people of France to be able to relate to me. I will need to pick up French, dress like one(the environment's sake) and even learn their culture. No, you are not changing yourself, you are giving yourself ample opportunities to discover new insights of and for yourself and expand mindsets. Be amazed how much you'll learn!

I would say this - "if you can't change the things around you, change yourself."

Why change, you'd ask again. Why must I position myself in such an uncomfortable state so that others can be happy and I won't? Why can't I be selfish and just be who I am to everyone? If they don't like me, then too bad... if they like me and they can accept who I am, good for you.

My thought on this is - the paragraphs above are just my thoughts(worth $1.15), you can disagree. But for me, I want people to love me for who I am and for all I know I will love them with what I have and what I can. Now, that gives me the motivation to position(notice, i don't change, i re-position) myself so to love and be loved.

I don't know about you, but I think 'changes' is necessary, cos the world progresses and we need to keep up with it. So what's next?! ya... i am in army, nothing much could be done for now! but my NEW FILM!!!

Thanks for celebrating for me!

2008-09-18T09:00:00.001+08:00

EXCLUSIVE! (Diana self high singing a song for me!)

thanks to Diana, Eileen, Hanson, my sis and the rest for planning the surprise party @ Kbox Chinatown :P

was really touched and unexpected. i enjoyed myself very much that night and i do hope that you did too...

(The Sex and the City Girls) LOL!

Culet, Otah, Curry and Kaya (from left to right)

I miss you guys!

expecting again

2008-09-18T09:00:00.000+08:00

Do you give without an expecation?
And that I meant not expecting any reaction (none at all) from the reciever; not even to feel appreciated.
Is unconditional giving really possible? Or are we merely just exchanging our gifts for words vice versa? Cos in definition, giving is not expecting anything in return. Do anyone really give anything? - love maybe?

I believe that love "can be" unconditional. It is blind when you choose what not to see and it is patient when you choose to wait.
How much you love someone can be seen by just how willing you are to do things out of your comfort zone just to make the other person happy. And you need not exactly need a response from the one you care for all the time, cos' all you need is know that you have loved your loved ones.
However, it takes 2 person to make a lasting relationship work. We'd all say- give and take; forgive and forget, hugs and smile and let's all move on. If you really love each other, no problems would be too big or difficult. And the best of all is that you know he/she would be there for you even if the sky would to fall. Right. And it takes that 2 person to create their very own 'home' (some call them 'world' or 'paradise') with their very own set of rules(vows) which will eventually lead to a happy ending.

While some would choose to play the selfish role in a relationship(usually the passive partner of yours); to be spoonfed with love. And the outcome is that he/she will grow fat in the relationship and will get sick and tired of the 'love' that you're giving and no longer finds you attractive. Why would anyone let this happen? And when it does, what would you do?

My 2cents worth if you'd really fall into this category (regardless if you are the passive or active one):
"hold that faux call/sms! we know you miss your darling, but he/she has other commitments right now. Your loving message might be an unpleasant surprise (making him/her feel uncomfortable esp. when it comes in at the wrong minute or hour of the day) and your intention would probably be ignored or worse;mistaken. Let's me put it this way, you probably have a lot of free time recently and you spend them 'missing' him/her. No no, it's not a bad thing... it's just too much of everything makes one sick! and it reduces one's desire. So my suggestion is to take a step back, take a DEEEEPP breath, take it slow... look at your life, fill it up with luncheons/supper with friends(else if go check out facebook or friendster), join some activities, take up a p/t job, pick up a hobby/sport! Balance everything incl. your partner. Make your life fruitful by planting a garden (flowers, trees, fruits, butterflies!) and not just a coconut tree(aka ur love).

Then again, how can one survive a loving relationship without a response thus an assurance?
And if you get responses, would you rather have a truthful but (probably)disappointing reply or a false assurance so to make you happy?
Like I said, it takes 2 hands to clap and 1 to SLAP! *piak!*

I gave quite abit of thought on this before I enlist.
I learn that this happens in the absence of trust. And with that, you'd get a lost and wandering soul.
The definition of love is --
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."

This is my forth day in Pulau Tekong. I must be running around all day, doing push-ups nonstop! I must be really tired.

The Release Movie | The Teaser

2008-09-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

... is on facebook! check us out!

The Release Movie | Interview with Actress 曾诗梅

2008-09-17T09:00:00.000+08:00

曾诗梅, Priscelia Chan(left) and Nick ShenWeiJun(right)

Q: What do you think of the character you played?

A: The person, Hui Juan, is a rich man's daughter. She is not a bad person, she is just subconsiously being programmed to be pampered. She has never lived a life which is not picture perfect. She has never tasted what it feels like to miserable. But when she was asked to live with her soon-to-be in-law, she had a culture shock. Try as she could, she simply could not adjust to her life living in a lesser well to do household, thus she vented her frustrations on her fiance.

Q: I understand that this is your first experience doing independent short film. Tell me, how different is it from acting in commercial dramas on Channel 8?

A: While doing Channel 8 dramas, I tend to have limited opportunities to explore "space" for characters. Usually on Channel 8 dramas, due to time constraints and viewer's demands, there is very little opportunity to explore having quiet space for the characters. If you take a look closely at typical human behaviour, there is a "space" for characters to be silent and not engage in their stereotypical ways of behaving. Working in this short film gave me the opportunity to allow "space" for the characters. The only few other instances whereby I was given the chance to explore character's "space" was when I was filming a few Channel 5 productions.

Q: I understand that the film's director Timothy is very young, I am curious to find out how is your experience in working with such a young director?

A: I was excited. Timothy, although being very young, has a natural flair to engage the actors in getting deep into characters and emotions. He is a very talented director despite he age, and I truly feel that there should be more support from the public as well as the government for people engaging in entertainment and arts. I wish him well in his future projects.

Q: What are your future plans for your acting career?

A: I definately want to have more opportunities to work in independent productions. I would also like to attempt Arts Central productions, as well as other productions which gives me more opportunities to explore "space" for my characters.

some photos to share...

2008-09-16T09:00:00.012+08:00

(haha! i thought this pic is cute!)
arrggh....
the last supper

(hanson and i with diana at Kbox!)

hohoho!

short post today.. just some pictures to share.. arrgghhh... i feel so sad now cos i am leaving.. :/

p.s. thank you for being there for me! :)

and btw... i dont get to book out everyday to post all these la.. i posted these before i enlisted :P

the art of love is the art of losing it

2008-09-16T09:00:00.010+08:00

The last time we were here, it was raining.
I am back here at this very place again
And it looks like its the same again.

I try as much as I can to avoid the places we've been.
For all they bring is sweet and lustful memories. Yes, so much life in it's reality.

I still see you standing, queuing.
You peep through the glass walls, waving and asking if I want another muffin.
I said no but still you insist.

I still see you staring and feeling worried.
You keep asking if I am hungry, I said fruits to make me happy.
You walked out to see if there're any.
I said no but still you insist.

I still hear you nagging, whining
You said I better listen or you're leaving
You nagged like love was speaking
I said yes cos you will insist

I still hear your last words ringing
You said no more cos you need breathing
You walked off with eyes tearing
I said no cos love still exist

I miss you badly. :/

happy birthday bro

2008-09-16T09:00:00.009+08:00

My little bro's(Gerald) birthday is on 09-09-99! I always think its cool to have interesting birth dates cos ppl will remember them and thus you'll get lots of wishes and presents!

This year I wanted to get him something he could 'play' with since he never really owned an expensive toy. So I spend a whole lot of time thinking and observing.

3 days and I had no idea still. Thus, on the very day of his birthday(to be exact 1/2 hr before the celebration) I went Action City, More Than Words, and those cheapo toy shops... hoping I could find something he might be interested to toy with but nothing really caught my attention. :/ I got anxious cos time was REALLY running out. (was very late!)But before I put my hands on a 'racing tracks' which looked semi-professional and fairly affordable, I saw this perfect item to be his present! Now guess what's it?

Fast Facts of my lil bro:

He doesn't fancy toys

He loves TV

He talks a lot

He loves my DS lite

I got him a TV controller game set! 'Plug and Play!'.

A single controller with more than 70 games. Fantastic deal at only $30! :P

p.s: he loved it!

unfinished work

2008-09-15T11:20:00.002+08:00

man... i have so much unfinished work to do before i leave for the army.

- was told that i shouldnt be burdened by 'outside' stuff when I am inside. otherwise; miserable
- was told that I should become dumb and listen to instructions

okay, i just shaved my head. and i am like 3 hrs to the actual enlistment. excited and scared :/